Sunday, August 26, 2012

Fallout

Lessons Learned:
If someone I'm leading falls, pick them up.
Take feedback seriously.
Learn my leadership style, my teams learning styles, how I'm perceived, and make adjustments accordingly.
Continue to praise the good in others, but never sugar coat the bad.

It's been a few weeks since we left our home church, where we got saved, baptized, and set down roots with lifelong friendships. I'm still really sad I won't see some people on a regular basis. I'm more sad I feel like I failed, like we are now just another one of those families who couldn't play nice and left. One of those people who couldn't get along with her. One of those people who were obviously just too selfish to get with the program.


Of course I know we're not. I can't speak for my husband, even though I usually do anyway. I can only speak for me, and I need the record to show I gave in worship with all my heart. I gave what little I had, and what did it cost me? Humility! I couldn't sing a note (and its debatable whether I can now).  I had to practice hard and still just get by. But I laid it all out for God each opportunity I had.

And that no matter what tension was perceived, the truth was it was just time. It's allowed to be "just time," right? I am still adjusting to not going there. I can't call another church my home yet, if ever.
 Yes, I'll get over it at some point. But let me draw you a picture.

I have had experiences that I have promised to never forget. One of them was a concert I played in when I went to Europe in high school. The music was so much a part of me, and I was so happy in that moment I had to take a mental snapshot and promise myself not to forget the sound of that note, the people standing on either side of me, and how I felt at that moment. All these years later I remember I had a life changing moment in a centuries old church, that I very much liked the song we played, and that I promised to remember details I couldn't tell you now if my life depended on it.

During what I knew was my last weekend at my home church, I took the same snapshot of our worship. I have stashed a couple memories to hold onto, but if I wake up one day and forget how much that meant to me, I will be very disappointed. I don't think I'll forget letting myself turn and hug Sophia. She's the one person in a LONG time receptive to my ultra touchy feely emotional monster. I may never be a part of a musical group again. I may never stand and lead worship again. Letting go of all that and knowing that it is for the best broke my heart, but it is my absolute belief that I will have the memories and the life of those moments brought back to me when we all get together to worship in eternity. And I'll stand next to Sophia.

I have to believe the last words I sang, which was on purpose from Him for my benefit.

You make all things new, and I will follow You forward

25 Things you probably don't know about Me

Taking the lead from one of my favorite bloggers at http://financiallyfabulousmommy.blogspot.com/
I thought this would be a fun post to share with you. 

1. I was supposed to be a boy. My name was Zachariah, now my youngest brother's name.
2. When I was young I wanted to be a nurse.
3. I once declared to the world, in a dramatic fashion, that I would never marry a man named Randy.
4. I had a boyfriend in middle school that ended up being gay.
5. I have had acne continuously since the age of 9.
6. I hate snow, I hate being cold.
7. After I had my surgery to restore what hearing I had left in my right ear, I heard a train for the first time, and ran down the street screaming terrified the world as ending and I was going to die. I was 4.
8. I collect miniature shoes.
9. And depression glass cake plates.
10. And antique china saucers.
11. I want to hug a bear one day. A real actual bear.
12. I hate cats, but personally brought home the 2 I have to surprise my husband.
13. I am a list person. Writing lists helps me organize my thoughts.
14. I got high one time to try and connect with my husband. Hated it, such a worthless feeling.
15. I was bullied all throughout elementary school for being fat.
16. And then through middle school for starting my first period during art class.
17. And then my meanest bully later in life helped keep my brother Michael off the street. God's justice.
18. I cry when I hear songs and stories about fathers who love their daughters.
19. I have loved God since I was a child, and have loved getting to know Him.
20. I was disappointed when I found out my grandma's secret recipe for banana pudding was on the jello pudding box.
21. I am most proud of my nana keeping a baby picture of me on her dresser until the day she died, saying I was the only one who never changed enough for her to want to put up an updated picture.

22. I have met all my children and have held them all. Dreams are sent from God.
23. I own many pairs of beautiful shoes, but wear sneakers for comfort.
24. I have seen the Eiffel Tower, but not the Grand Canyon.
25. I have never had a friend pour into me like I have poured into others. My mom gets annoyed and points it out, but I am proud to be a giver. I am fully aware people will come in and out of my life only when they need me, but what a blessing to be so reliable. I love giving my heart to people, and I am aware by wisdom and experience it gets broken sometimes. I know He just might be the only one who can match my heart, but I'm glad He gave it to me to give to others.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Catching my breath

Hi!

This weekend I am taking on a task that I have pretended to tackle for years, every time I open publisher - in just the same way a little girl tries to walk in her mom's fabulous heels. I am finishing my first brochures. My first pricing materials that I will give out to brides on August 18 at the bridal show. Yeep!

Where I have always been flooded with creativity and drive and confidence, I am feeling a little hesitant. I mean, other people are going to see this and make decisions based on it. I don't want it to look too boring or too busy. I want it to look professional and sleek, but have some magic power that makes people think they can't get married without me there.

Tonight we're making lasagna, and then I've got a full weekend.

I've had a huge last month.  Vacation was just what I needed to get my head on straight. We had so much fun in San Diego with our family. I posted a long time ago that I believe God custom wraps for his children unique experiences and perceptions that remind us of His love. There's something about magnolia trees full of rich white blooms that triggers that in me. That, and the glitter of the light off ripples of water being pulled back into the ocean. I take some of these things in and decide I couldn't possibly share the awe with anyone for risk of looking looney. Maybe because those experiences, where I can swear I am caught up in grace for just a minute or two, are for me alone from my creator.

In a way, one of the special experiences is the feeling of being taken care of and loved by family members. Our cousin was so nice to let us stay at her house while we took in SD. I didn't expect, or think I deserved the red carpet treatment when the rest of the family joined us and we wined and dined (quite literally). Even though, according to our aunt, that's just how family treats each other, I always walk away wishing I had what it takes to make it "just the way I treat" everyone. So this is what made my vacation complete - I not only had a breathtaking visual week where I got to get out of my environment and be humbled by some beauty, I was treated so kindly. This is the application piece of my experience, the "why" to my here and now. I need to love more. I used to be really good at that.

...

My mom has a grocery bag full of all her CDs. If you stop to picture this, it's pretty funny. I have them here at my house, so for the past few days, I have spent the evenings ripping all the discs onto my iTunes. I'm about 2/3 done. I've got a song softly on repeat, Raul DiBlasio and Juan Gabriel, Hasta que te conoci. Growing up Margie's daughter, I was never in lack for random awesome Latin music. The music in the piece is just plain fun - passionate and bold. Later, when I could translate the lyrics, I found out it was a pretty sad song. But I love that I still enjoy it. It gives me hope that who I was years ago, with just enough innocence to jam out to a Spanish song about heartbreak, is still in me somewhere.


Hoping that's the case. More to come! Thanks for visiting.

Love, Juice

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Terra Cotta re-design, and new name?

Hello!

I have what seems like a million updates for you - LOTS of exciting things happening right now! I ran into I someone this afternoon who asked me to update my blog - she missed me! I promised I would, so I'm posting this a little out of sequence. I've started my bedroom design project, nearly completed my home office design, went on vacation, and started a business... but the project I'm showing you tonight, for lack of time to go on, and on...., is my inspirational pots re-design.

When we moved in to our house, we found some old, beat up Terra cotta pots on the side yard. They were my FIL's and had been home to some fig trees. They were jacked up, which I think is a technical term.

Here are the pots after being washed and sun dried. Notice how the yellow one has pretty engravings?

My vision was to bring life back to these pots, knowing they're old and not perfect anymore. Knowing the cracks will show, and the clay will continue to chip off. I wanted to show mercy to these pots and give them another chance to help me grow pretty flowers on my patio.

So I took off to Home Depot to find some paint, stencils, and plants to finish the project.

I picked up a pretty cute stencil set, plastic drop cloth, a glossy white paint, and a sunny yellow paint. I also grabbed a few plastic trays to stick under the pots so water wouldn't drip onto the tile patio.

I purchased a lantana plant that was a mix of red, yellow, white, and purple. I'm so glad I found the plant I was looking for and hoping they had available, blue cape plumbago. Randy's family had an aloe plant we found on the brink of death when we moved in. What a miracle - it came back to life when we added water! I highly recommend it if you want plants to grow. Contrary to what you may have heard, plants do not crave electrolytes. The aloe is pretty large now and graces our patio nicely.

Remember the yellow pot with the nice engravings? I re-illuminated it with the soft yellow. Since the pot is already decorative, I didn't stencil it. I planted the aloe here. 

Forgot to mention I couldn't resist these iron stands I found!  

The remaining pots I painted with the glossy white. I wanted to accent with a bold cobalt blue, but I didn't have that color in my collection. I did, however, have a dark navy and pretty royal, so I blended the two with a shimmery champagne acrylic paint to make the perfect cobalt blue.

I used the stencil on one of the pots, and then after careful adherence of the stencil to a curved surface, and meticulous re-outlining the bled over blue with a fine tip brush of white, I remembered I had a stamp I could've been using the whole time! Yup, stamped the next pot. I painted a verse on each pot, and planted the other two plants.

"Blessed are the Merciful"




This pot was the first one I finished, in the blue stencil. I painted the verse in brown, and went back later and added brown stamps, because stamps are amazing fun.
"For Every Thing, a Season"




This is the other pot, all stamped. I mixed so much pretty blue paint, I couldn't bear to throw it out and write in brown, so the verse is blue also. We had a cape plumbago at south house, and it was one of our happier seasons living down in that part of town. We will always remember how happy we were driving up to the house with this plant in full bloom. We needed to have one in our new home.









It's so nice now having a little color on the patio, and its only the beginning. I have a patio set that will be re-designed this summer! I can't wait to have the stuff I need (time, mainly) to complete that project in time for the cool weather in Phoenix. 

Lastly, I need to think of a new name for this blog. I am thinking of trademarking True. Lovely. Excellent. for my soon to be wildly popular business. I have so much identity in that phrase, that I want to keep part of it in some fashion. It would also be nice if I could incorporate my alter ego, Juice, in the name. 

Truly Yours, Juice? Give me your comments. If you help re-name my blog, a prize maybe?

Thanks for visiting! Talk to you soon.


Juice