Attempt at Grace

I married my cousin and his bride on July 23 of 2011.  It was hot, and muggy, and there was a haboob looming on the horizon. A beautiful backdrop for a backyard wedding with 200 people invited.  Potluck slash BBQ style with plenty of ice chests. The cake was traditional, only because someone else in the family was a caker. Bouquet was traditional, because someone else in the family (me) is a floral designer. Lots of family, casual attire, pool ready get together. The bride's friends chipped in and had a hula dancer perform during the dinner portion of the evening. If one was going to remember something from that evening, I'd pick that. If only to forget how effing HOT it was outside.

I was pretty psyched to perform my first marriage ceremony. After we made it official and signed all necessary spaces on the license, I very carefully stored the stub until I could hand mail it Monday morning. After mailing the stub, I wrote the newly married couple a nice letter:

Dear Christy and David Muniz,

Congratulations on your marriage! I was pleased to work so closely with you both.  I enjoyed writing your ceremony and creating a tropical bouquet for your wedding day.

Marriage is such a sacred covenant! In awe and respect of the brevity of this commitment between two loving souls, I always highly recommend that couples invest time and resources toward the continued growth of their relationship. This may mean reading a book on marriage, or seeing a relationship counselor or attending church services together. Many can attest these small commitments make a world of difference in bonding two happily married people closer together. If the wedding was the hardest part of a marriage, what a different world this would be! I wish you happiness all the days you share together.

I have mailed your marriage certificate to be filed by the clerk of the Superior Court of Arizona on July 25, 2011. I would like to be able to use your names as a reference to other potential engaged couples seeking ministry services. If you have any question about this, please contact me.

Thank you both once more for inviting me to share a part in your wedding day. May God bless you and your family with favor, hope, and unconditional love. Amen.

Sincerely,

Jessica Burgess, BA Psychology, Minister, American Marriage Ministries

Imagine my horror to find out no later than Wednesday the next week that my cousin David had not only been cheating on his bride, he had contact with the other woman on his wedding day! He never wanted marriage and decided to end things with his new bride.
I think the world of my cousin as a person, so realizing what an awful thing he has done is extremely disappointing. No matter how unhappy you are, why go through with the wedding at all?  At the very least, pull your cousin Jessica aside, who is conveniently acting as your minister, and ask her to hold off on mailing the document you signed making your union legal. Right?

Needless to say, the bride is destroyed. She had no clue there was a problem and thought this was her happily ever after. I had nothing to offer her in the way of gossip, David-bashing, or anything else an extremely pissed off woman craves after being abandoned. All I could give her was a simple blessing. I told her that I recognized her strength, and her independence.  That she was a highly capable woman, and that her children would draw from her all of those wonderful qualities. That she would be better in the end, and that she had my best wishes. What else do you tell someone in that position?

Jessica's ministry stats show that 1/1 couples that get married in their bathing suits don't work out. Good to know...