Monday, January 16, 2012

The New Wait, Continued...

"Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought."

Today is CD29, MLK, a beautiful drizzle on a Monday in Arizona.

I got the call last week from my Dr. that the clomid was not effective at 50mg., and my blood indicated i had not ovulated. After that day, I stopped charting my BBT for the rest of this cycle.  Let me tell you what charting BBT does to me.  It wakes me up at 5:30am every morning and sets the tone. It is my first thought of the day.  I lay with the thermometer in my mouth for a whole minute, with nothing to think of, except, "I hope there is a dip today," or,"I hope it stays elevated today." Then I go back to sleep until 6.  My whole day has my BBT as a backdrop. "How are you this morning?" "Great! I'm 96.9 today, thank you".  Yes, I am completely aware this makes me sound like a psychopath.

So, day 29 is here.  I should be expecting my period. Just waiting patiently, so I can take 100mg of clomid cd5-9.  Except I am terrible at waiting without thinking too hard.  There is actually a crazy person inside of me who is tempted to take a pregnancy test, just in case. Crazier things have happened, right?  Around my parts, that's a loaded question.

I won't keep you too long, but thanks for listening, and if you understand - thanks for that too.

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